I spend most of my client days helping people erase rather than add.
For example, a husband starts a conversation certain he needs a new skill, a better way to argue, a smarter thing to say.
In reality, what he usually needs is to let go of the old identity he's been dragging into every conversation, the version of himself that had to be right, or had to win, or had to prove something that stopped mattering years ago.
I like the whiteboard image and I think it is exactly right.
Growth doesn't look like a fuller board. It looks like a man who finally has the judgment to know what he can put down.
I ask my clients some version of your question all the time, just aimed at a different kind of accumulation.
What are you still carrying that experience has already told you to let go of?
Thanks for writing this and have a great long weekend.
I appreciate that, Ken. You took the same idea into a completely different setting. Sometimes the hardest thing to erase is the version of ourselves we've outgrown.
I really loved this. You articulated something that so many people feel but can't quite name: that inherited urgency we absorb from everything that's presented to us by the information environment.
I’ve been hammering on this idea in my own writing: that our ability to curate our own attention is perhaps the most important financial skill we have right now.
It’s comforting to see more of us focusing on this. Your discernment principle is such a clean, practical tool for people to keep in their pocket; it’s exactly the kind of concrete guidance that helps people actually reclaim their own headspace. Great work!
I really appreciate this. The phrase "inherited urgency" is going to stick with me because I think that's exactly what so many of us are reacting to without realizing it. We inherit the assumption that everything deserves our attention, and then wonder why it feels impossible to think clearly.
I also smiled at your point about attention becoming a financial skill. I hadn't framed it that way, but I can absolutely see the connection. Thanks for taking the time to write such a thoughtful response and adding to the conversation.
It’s a pleasure to connect on this. That feeling of "impossible to think clearly" is exactly the trap I’m trying to help people navigate, so I’m glad we’re both looking at the same landscape. Thanks again for the great post!
Strong piece. Experience is not simply the accumulation of knowledge. It is the discipline to recognize familiar patterns, strip away the noise, and stop spending attention on things that have already proven they do not matter.
I saw this repeatedly in investing and see it now in intelligence work. The advantage rarely belongs to the person consuming the most information. It belongs to the person who can separate the signal from distraction before everyone else has finished debating it.
Knowing what to ignore is not closed mindedness. It is judgment purchased through mistakes, repetition, and scar tissue. The world never stops producing noise. Experience teaches us which parts no longer deserve a seat at the table.
This resonates deeply. An internship at an internet company taught me something: for a website, it's never about how many features you have. What really matters is figuring out what users actually need — and then polishing that one feature until it's perfect. Thank you for this piece.
JP. I smiled at the "airware" part. My husband always called that "vaporware." He's been in healthcare IT his whole career.
As I read this, the line from Bob Seger's song "Against the Wind" popped into my head "deadlines and commitments. What to leave in, what to leave out."
Your piece focuses on the what to leave out since most of us have plenty we're all leaving in, and we wouldn't feel so stressed if we did more of the latter.
Thank you, Melanie. "Vaporware" and "airware" are definitely cousins. I like the Bob Seger connection too. It's funny how one line from a song can suddenly fit something you weren't expecting.
Thank you, Andrew. I hadn't thought about teaching it to teenagers, but there's probably a lot of value in learning early that not every opportunity, opinion, or distraction deserves equal attention. I don't think any of us ever completely graduate from that lesson.
This was really a great article to read. As I read it, I couldn’t help making the connection to nature. What you describe is what a good gardener does.
The plant that thrives isn’t the plant that grows unhindered. A good gardener knows where to prune, where to remove the buds and branches that are taking away the energy of the plant, and the pruning allows the plant to focus on true growth.
The power in learning where to prune, where to help the plant so that it stops wasting its energy on buds and branches that produce little, is an art. You have taken that art and made the leap from the garden to the creative space.
This was really a great article to read. As I read it, I couldn’t help making the connection to nature. What you describe is what a good gardener does.
The plant that thrives isn’t the plant that grows unhindered. A good gardener knows where to prune, where to remove the buds and branches that are taking away the energy of the plant, and the pruning allows the plant to focus on true growth.
The power in learning where to prune, where to help the plant so that it stops wasting its energy on buds and branches that produce little, is an art. You have taken that art and made the leap from the garden to the creative space.
Thank you, Carl. I appreciate your words. "Airware" was one of those words that got repeated often enough around our office that it became part of the vocabulary. Every time I see a slick presentation, those old grocery software demos still pop into my head.
I really loved reading it, and it resonated strongly with me. The whiteboard metaphor is especially memorable, as is the idea that our experiences are shaped as much by what we stop chasing as by what we pursue. Crisp, sharp, and a very enjoyable read.
Hey JP,
I spend most of my client days helping people erase rather than add.
For example, a husband starts a conversation certain he needs a new skill, a better way to argue, a smarter thing to say.
In reality, what he usually needs is to let go of the old identity he's been dragging into every conversation, the version of himself that had to be right, or had to win, or had to prove something that stopped mattering years ago.
I like the whiteboard image and I think it is exactly right.
Growth doesn't look like a fuller board. It looks like a man who finally has the judgment to know what he can put down.
I ask my clients some version of your question all the time, just aimed at a different kind of accumulation.
What are you still carrying that experience has already told you to let go of?
Thanks for writing this and have a great long weekend.
I appreciate that, Ken. You took the same idea into a completely different setting. Sometimes the hardest thing to erase is the version of ourselves we've outgrown.
And thank you! Enjoying every minute of it.
Your writing parallels, in some way, what I do in individual and couples therapy, so thank you. Great to hear!
I really loved this. You articulated something that so many people feel but can't quite name: that inherited urgency we absorb from everything that's presented to us by the information environment.
I’ve been hammering on this idea in my own writing: that our ability to curate our own attention is perhaps the most important financial skill we have right now.
It’s comforting to see more of us focusing on this. Your discernment principle is such a clean, practical tool for people to keep in their pocket; it’s exactly the kind of concrete guidance that helps people actually reclaim their own headspace. Great work!
I really appreciate this. The phrase "inherited urgency" is going to stick with me because I think that's exactly what so many of us are reacting to without realizing it. We inherit the assumption that everything deserves our attention, and then wonder why it feels impossible to think clearly.
I also smiled at your point about attention becoming a financial skill. I hadn't framed it that way, but I can absolutely see the connection. Thanks for taking the time to write such a thoughtful response and adding to the conversation.
It’s a pleasure to connect on this. That feeling of "impossible to think clearly" is exactly the trap I’m trying to help people navigate, so I’m glad we’re both looking at the same landscape. Thanks again for the great post!
This is making me think. What am I adding? Am I subtracting?
That's exactly the conversation I was hoping this would start, Kendra. I have a feeling the subtraction list changes as we do.
I think so, too… Great prompt!
I love this.
It also made me think that the ability to ignore isn't innate—it's earned.
Every confident "no" is built on years of curious "yeses."
Strong piece. Experience is not simply the accumulation of knowledge. It is the discipline to recognize familiar patterns, strip away the noise, and stop spending attention on things that have already proven they do not matter.
I saw this repeatedly in investing and see it now in intelligence work. The advantage rarely belongs to the person consuming the most information. It belongs to the person who can separate the signal from distraction before everyone else has finished debating it.
Knowing what to ignore is not closed mindedness. It is judgment purchased through mistakes, repetition, and scar tissue. The world never stops producing noise. Experience teaches us which parts no longer deserve a seat at the table.
🔥
This resonates deeply. An internship at an internet company taught me something: for a website, it's never about how many features you have. What really matters is figuring out what users actually need — and then polishing that one feature until it's perfect. Thank you for this piece.
Great piece. Really enjoyed reading it.
JP. I smiled at the "airware" part. My husband always called that "vaporware." He's been in healthcare IT his whole career.
As I read this, the line from Bob Seger's song "Against the Wind" popped into my head "deadlines and commitments. What to leave in, what to leave out."
Your piece focuses on the what to leave out since most of us have plenty we're all leaving in, and we wouldn't feel so stressed if we did more of the latter.
Thank you, Melanie. "Vaporware" and "airware" are definitely cousins. I like the Bob Seger connection too. It's funny how one line from a song can suddenly fit something you weren't expecting.
Great article JP
'Filtering' should be taught to teenagers so they can recognize what meets their standards and what doesn't
Adults still have a ways to go with this...including me
Thank you, Andrew. I hadn't thought about teaching it to teenagers, but there's probably a lot of value in learning early that not every opportunity, opinion, or distraction deserves equal attention. I don't think any of us ever completely graduate from that lesson.
This was really a great article to read. As I read it, I couldn’t help making the connection to nature. What you describe is what a good gardener does.
The plant that thrives isn’t the plant that grows unhindered. A good gardener knows where to prune, where to remove the buds and branches that are taking away the energy of the plant, and the pruning allows the plant to focus on true growth.
The power in learning where to prune, where to help the plant so that it stops wasting its energy on buds and branches that produce little, is an art. You have taken that art and made the leap from the garden to the creative space.
Thank you. I really like the gardening comparison. I can see exactly why you made that connection. Pruning and editing have a lot in common.
This was really a great article to read. As I read it, I couldn’t help making the connection to nature. What you describe is what a good gardener does.
The plant that thrives isn’t the plant that grows unhindered. A good gardener knows where to prune, where to remove the buds and branches that are taking away the energy of the plant, and the pruning allows the plant to focus on true growth.
The power in learning where to prune, where to help the plant so that it stops wasting its energy on buds and branches that produce little, is an art. You have taken that art and made the leap from the garden to the creative space.
It's difficult to make the decision to erase, but the sooner we do it, the better. Well written and thoughtful.
Thank you, Smita. I agree. Sometimes the decision is harder than the erasing itself.
You speak the truth so clearly once again. And, once again, it's uncanny how apropos your words are to me.
"Dog and pony show" is one of my favorite expressions, but "airware" is fantastic. Adopting that as of today.
Software, you don't say? Trying to sell concepts rather than actual products? Not ready for prime time indeed.
But your pieces always are.
Thank you, Carl. I appreciate your words. "Airware" was one of those words that got repeated often enough around our office that it became part of the vocabulary. Every time I see a slick presentation, those old grocery software demos still pop into my head.
I really loved reading it, and it resonated strongly with me. The whiteboard metaphor is especially memorable, as is the idea that our experiences are shaped as much by what we stop chasing as by what we pursue. Crisp, sharp, and a very enjoyable read.
Thank you. I really appreciate that. The whiteboard image was where this whole piece started. I just kept coming back to it while I was writing.
Wisdom
is not knowing more.
It is becoming
harder
to distract.
— AËLA