Yeah well put. I often said (when I was advising businesses & people)… there is always a choice. Always. It may not seem palatable/ easy / nice etc… but there is always a choice. That’s not the issue. Choosing is.
Great point, Mark. That last line is the whole thing. The choice exists. It always existed. Pulling the trigger is the different skill entirely.
It’s amazing when we feel the dread of being trapped, how working on something new can revitalize us. Doesn’t take away the drudgery of our current situation. But allows a both/and where the excitement and engagement of something new helps balance out the dread of the daily routine.
I can feel myself drawn back to my younger years when I did experience this parking lot tax. I can remember being in offices and wondering what was the meaning of shuffling all this paper around. Would it make any real difference in the world?
Jill, that question you asked back then. Does any of this actually matter. Most people just stop asking it. That's where it gets you. I've asked myself the same question.
This is great JP. I too have one foot in each world and wrote more about this in my next post.
I love the analogy "Parking Lot Tax." When you have other irons n the fire it energizes everything and when you don't, it also affects everything. I choose the first one :)
Appreciate that Melanie. One foot in each world is its own kind of hard. But you're right. The irons in the fire change the whole temperature of the day.
I didn’t realize how much of my life I’ve spent negotiating with myself in parking lots. I’ve been overriding the signal for years. Seeing it named like this is uncomfortable and clarifying.
What is your #1 tip for someone who is in your same position. Still working the job but with an exit plan - for the really hard days? The days you just want to tell the job to f* off and quit?
Jess, on those days I go back to the build. Open whatever I'm working on. Even for ten minutes. It doesn't fix the day but it reminds me the day job is temporary and the thing I'm building is not. BTW…I’ve had plenty of those days… :)
Haven't we all :) community keeps me going as well. They're like accountability partners for when you feel like you can't. In those days they step in and remind you that you can!
I'm studying that dread and the data a lot. Often, and sort of to your point, in my car. But sometimes, yes, the parking lot test is real. Love the concept.
My takeaway from this great piece is to pay attention to the signals. Your mind and body are providing information. And, even if change is not reasonable in that moment, pay attention. Designing your exit plan, whether today or next year, provides relief and evidence you are paying attention.
Patrick, that last part is what took me the longest to get. The plan itself changes something. You stop feeling trapped the second you start treating it like a choice.
Exactly. As I was reading, it reminded me of a time in my life when I was going through the paces. Sitting in the parking lot at the hospital, watching my peers arrive at work and walk to the front door felt heavy. Knowing I was in that place for 12 -14 hours was overwhelming. That recognition provided space for me to consider other possibilities. And while it did not bring immediate relief, it did provide a recognition that I could exit and follow my heart when the time was right.
Your parking parking lot image is real. The weight of knowing exactly what the next 12 hours look like before you even walk in. The recognition you're describing is everything. That's where it starts.
Realizing the friction that’s wearing you down is internal instead of external is where change can begin.
exactly.
Yeah well put. I often said (when I was advising businesses & people)… there is always a choice. Always. It may not seem palatable/ easy / nice etc… but there is always a choice. That’s not the issue. Choosing is.
Great point, Mark. That last line is the whole thing. The choice exists. It always existed. Pulling the trigger is the different skill entirely.
It’s amazing when we feel the dread of being trapped, how working on something new can revitalize us. Doesn’t take away the drudgery of our current situation. But allows a both/and where the excitement and engagement of something new helps balance out the dread of the daily routine.
That both/and is exactly where I am right now. The dread didn't go away. But it stopped being the only thing in the room.
I can feel myself drawn back to my younger years when I did experience this parking lot tax. I can remember being in offices and wondering what was the meaning of shuffling all this paper around. Would it make any real difference in the world?
Jill, that question you asked back then. Does any of this actually matter. Most people just stop asking it. That's where it gets you. I've asked myself the same question.
we really need more natural less artificial in everything...
This is great JP. I too have one foot in each world and wrote more about this in my next post.
I love the analogy "Parking Lot Tax." When you have other irons n the fire it energizes everything and when you don't, it also affects everything. I choose the first one :)
Appreciate that Melanie. One foot in each world is its own kind of hard. But you're right. The irons in the fire change the whole temperature of the day.
I didn’t realize how much of my life I’ve spent negotiating with myself in parking lots. I’ve been overriding the signal for years. Seeing it named like this is uncomfortable and clarifying.
Tsetsy, uncomfortable and clarifying is exactly where it starts. That tension means you're paying attention.
What is your #1 tip for someone who is in your same position. Still working the job but with an exit plan - for the really hard days? The days you just want to tell the job to f* off and quit?
Jess, on those days I go back to the build. Open whatever I'm working on. Even for ten minutes. It doesn't fix the day but it reminds me the day job is temporary and the thing I'm building is not. BTW…I’ve had plenty of those days… :)
Haven't we all :) community keeps me going as well. They're like accountability partners for when you feel like you can't. In those days they step in and remind you that you can!
I'm studying that dread and the data a lot. Often, and sort of to your point, in my car. But sometimes, yes, the parking lot test is real. Love the concept.
Right on, Carl. Studying it is the right move. Most people just call it a bad morning and move on.
Cheers to that! Plus, just sounds like another excuse.
My takeaway from this great piece is to pay attention to the signals. Your mind and body are providing information. And, even if change is not reasonable in that moment, pay attention. Designing your exit plan, whether today or next year, provides relief and evidence you are paying attention.
Patrick, that last part is what took me the longest to get. The plan itself changes something. You stop feeling trapped the second you start treating it like a choice.
Exactly. As I was reading, it reminded me of a time in my life when I was going through the paces. Sitting in the parking lot at the hospital, watching my peers arrive at work and walk to the front door felt heavy. Knowing I was in that place for 12 -14 hours was overwhelming. That recognition provided space for me to consider other possibilities. And while it did not bring immediate relief, it did provide a recognition that I could exit and follow my heart when the time was right.
Your parking parking lot image is real. The weight of knowing exactly what the next 12 hours look like before you even walk in. The recognition you're describing is everything. That's where it starts.