JP, excellemt points made in your story. That teacher sounds like the kind you'd find in a movie or book, not in a classroom. You were lucky to have found each other.
It's wonderful when you have teachers who care and actually truly help shape you and prepare you for life. They stand out as they deserve.
I never mind a situation where we can agree to disagree, but as you pointed out, somehow it seems that ability has gone by the wayside. I hope one day we get it back.
Thank you, Melanie. I was lucky, and I don't think I fully appreciated it until years later. I'd love to see us get back to disagreeing without treating each other like the enemy.
Powerful story. I think what really stood out is that he saw you. He never gave up on you, and every debate was proof of that fact. Thank you for sharing.
I appreciate that. I didn't recognize it then, but every debate was another chance he chose to engage instead of dismiss me. I'll always be grateful for that.
The person who taught me to think was my history teacher and my social studies teacher. Both the same man. Mr. Tessitory taught me how to learn through listening, and verifying. Dont take things at face vaule, look deeper and always watch the current. The current shows the truth on everything.
Thank you for sharing that. Funny how we remember those teachers decades later, not because of the curriculum, but because of the way they taught us to see the world.
You challenged him in the right way because you first challenged yourself. That's the kind of stuff that leaves an impression. A positive one. Respect.
Thanks, Carl. I think you're onto something. He could probably tell I wasn't challenging him as much as I was challenging my own thinking. Looking back, I respect him even more for meeting me there.
I love this: "Growth comes from finding people who challenge you without dismissing you."
The real key is the last part to discuss without dismissing the other person. You and the teacher had a mutual respect without showing it. You both listened, leading to a deeper understanding. We need more of this approach.
I agree, John. I think the mutual respect came first, even if neither of us admitted it at the time. That made it possible for both of us to actually listen.
This is what I teach couples or individuals,constantly, just in a different room than yours.
For me the line, "he treated my arguments as worth answering," brought to my mind the entire difference between a marriage where disagreement is something to survive and one where it's something to explore.
Most couples I work with have stopped doing what you and your teacher were doing and they've started defending instead of answering.
Friction that creates clarity instead of heat is not a bad description of what good communication actually requires.
Most people think it requires agreement.
It requires the opposite, two people willing to stay in the room long enough to actually hear what's being said.
You were lucky to have a teacher who saw what was underneath the mohawk before you saw it yourself.
Thank you, Ken. I hadn't thought about it through the lens of marriage, but I can absolutely see the parallel. Defending and answering are two very different conversations.
Funny how you went to class for one thing but came away with your worldview expanded. Confirmation of the views you already hold keeps the door shut but friction kicks it wide open. I enjoyed this article.
"He engaged every point like it deserved an answer." I had to read that line 3 times. More people need to learn how to do this.
I think so too, Shelli. Imagine how different our conversations would be if more people started by assuming the other person was worth answering.
sometimes the people who change us aren’t the ones who agree with us, but the ones who take us seriously when we’re still figuring out who we are huh?
JP, excellemt points made in your story. That teacher sounds like the kind you'd find in a movie or book, not in a classroom. You were lucky to have found each other.
It's wonderful when you have teachers who care and actually truly help shape you and prepare you for life. They stand out as they deserve.
I never mind a situation where we can agree to disagree, but as you pointed out, somehow it seems that ability has gone by the wayside. I hope one day we get it back.
Thank you, Melanie. I was lucky, and I don't think I fully appreciated it until years later. I'd love to see us get back to disagreeing without treating each other like the enemy.
Powerful story. I think what really stood out is that he saw you. He never gave up on you, and every debate was proof of that fact. Thank you for sharing.
I appreciate that. I didn't recognize it then, but every debate was another chance he chose to engage instead of dismiss me. I'll always be grateful for that.
Such a beautiful story! So human :)
I have always had good teachers. It's a blessing. Thank you!
Thank you, Magdalena. I think we carry those teachers with us long after we leave their classrooms.
The person who taught me to think was my history teacher and my social studies teacher. Both the same man. Mr. Tessitory taught me how to learn through listening, and verifying. Dont take things at face vaule, look deeper and always watch the current. The current shows the truth on everything.
Thank you for sharing that. Funny how we remember those teachers decades later, not because of the curriculum, but because of the way they taught us to see the world.
#teachergoals
Absolutely, KK. He set the bar higher than I realized at the time.
You challenged him in the right way because you first challenged yourself. That's the kind of stuff that leaves an impression. A positive one. Respect.
Thanks, Carl. I think you're onto something. He could probably tell I wasn't challenging him as much as I was challenging my own thinking. Looking back, I respect him even more for meeting me there.
I wish more people were like that
100% agree Carl
I love this: "Growth comes from finding people who challenge you without dismissing you."
The real key is the last part to discuss without dismissing the other person. You and the teacher had a mutual respect without showing it. You both listened, leading to a deeper understanding. We need more of this approach.
I agree, John. I think the mutual respect came first, even if neither of us admitted it at the time. That made it possible for both of us to actually listen.
Hey JP,
This is what I teach couples or individuals,constantly, just in a different room than yours.
For me the line, "he treated my arguments as worth answering," brought to my mind the entire difference between a marriage where disagreement is something to survive and one where it's something to explore.
Most couples I work with have stopped doing what you and your teacher were doing and they've started defending instead of answering.
Friction that creates clarity instead of heat is not a bad description of what good communication actually requires.
Most people think it requires agreement.
It requires the opposite, two people willing to stay in the room long enough to actually hear what's being said.
You were lucky to have a teacher who saw what was underneath the mohawk before you saw it yourself.
Thank you, Ken. I hadn't thought about it through the lens of marriage, but I can absolutely see the parallel. Defending and answering are two very different conversations.
Funny how you went to class for one thing but came away with your worldview expanded. Confirmation of the views you already hold keeps the door shut but friction kicks it wide open. I enjoyed this article.